As the consequence of Paula Deen's comments continue to unfold, I am compelled to offer my objections to her actions. It isn't that she used an offensive word. It isn't that she admitted to using it in a deposition. It's how she admitted to using it. "Yes, of course," comes across as a relaxed, even flippant, attitude to the word, especially in a deposition. Instead of expressing herself in a legalistic, specific manner, "Once in 1986, to my husband in reference to a perpetrator of a crime of which I was the victim," the "of course," comes across as a word with which she is comfortable. It doesn't sound like a word she used once over twenty years ago. It sounds like she's admitting to a regular part of her vocabulary.
Alas, Paula is oblivious to what I find most cringe-worthy in her admission. She insists that she never addressed a person directly with that word. She seems to think that absolves her of the charge of racism. The ugly truth is that many people suspect Southerners of bandying about racist terms behind closed doors. From their point of view, opinions haven't changed one iota in the American South, but only the degree and venue of their expression. They suspect Southerners of desiring to go back to antebellum days - in all their abhorrence - if only they could get away with it. By admitting she said that word to her husband when they were alone, she's confirmed suspicions of what Southerners are really like, under their buttery surface.
Her supporters during the first week of the scandal fuel that fire. Sadly, I have to admit a validity to their racism. I can't defend my fellow Southerners in their behind-doors bigotry. I have heard this attitude myself, as a Georgia native over 40. All I can say is it's wrong. This ends with me. I am willing to learn; I am willing to teach my own children better. Even though I was exposed to it, I don't have to perpetuate it.
Here's the rub, Paula: it's not about how one looks or one's intentions. As she is all too painfully discovering now, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. We're not going to get past racism by pretending all the hard work was already done decades ago. It's not enough to say as long as we are sweet and smiling then we don't have to look at the unintended consequences of our actions.
